Friday, September 21, 2012

Turmoil 9-21-2012

We moved when I was in 8th grade.  Almost the end of the school year and I had to start all over in a new school, well myself and my three other sisters.  This was going to be a new beginning in a supposedly better neighborhood.  It was a better neighborhood, but it didn't mean that the children there would be any less mean or taunting.  Going into a new school right at the end of the year did not make it any easier.  I made one friend that was going to end up going to the same high school as me.  The middle school split and some kids went to one high school while the rest went to another depending on where you lived.  Those 3 or 4 months were hard, hard adjusting to the attitudes of a bunch of kids who were privileged, when I was clearly not.  Hand me down clothes and shoes did not help the situation, especially when the shoes were mail order shoes that your mother decided she didn't want.

I made it through and onto high school I went.  I had already had a regular babysitting job at our old house and was determined to find something now so that I could buy my own clothes.  Here and there and doing extra chores around the house and I would save up enough to go and buy a new shirt or pair of pants every once in a while.  I remember Ditto's were in back then and I must of had a pair in every color.

I was pretty shy, so I didn't have a lot of friends, but believed the friends that I did have were quality friends. I tumbled through high school, socially awkward and shy with most people thinking that I was stuck up.  Never really dating but trying to get involved, even running for publicity for ASB.  Didn't win, someone more popular did, but she knew I had talent and asked me to be on her team.  Fun times watching the football team run through our posters.  Going out for pizza after a game and just being a kid.

Just about my senior year my mom and step-father started having problems.  He liked to drink and wouldn't admit that he was an alcoholic.  The situation became tense and by that time I had a regular job and a car that I had bought and was so glad that I did.  If I wasn't at school I was working or would hang with my friends.  My two younger sisters weren't so lucky and lived in the middle of a war zone.  By the time I was 19 I had already moved out and right after that their relationship ended.  I certainly wasn't surprised, but I felt really bad for my mother.  Two kids to raise and get out of high school and on her own again.  She succeeded with one and the other dropped out.  For all of us this was a really bad time and then my father decided that it was time to come back into our lives after a 6 year hiatus.


  1. You sound like you were determined Paula, and that is what got you through... I too worked for everything that I wanted, but was in a loving household with two Brothers, and Two Sisters..My Parents were married and in Love until the day that my Dad left for the Kingdom of Heaven... I am like you , in that I was shy.. I don't remember feeling poor until my Dad had his stroke my Senior year in High School.. Do you still have a relationship with your Father? Your Mother? What happened to your little Sisters? I Love your stories..They are raw and real... Thanks for sharing, and am looking forward to hearing more..You are an inspiration to girls that do not deal with things positively...T*

  2. Thank you so much Teresa. I actually take my inspiration from my older sister, who in the stories is the one who has really paid the price. I believe it a miracle that she survived, but only because she is a survivor. Whether she believes it or not is another story. She is the strong, who protected the rest of us the best she could. She is my real "Hero".

  3. everyone has a story...and like I read like night, everyone has problems, be they king or pope.

  4. So true Annmarie, so true. You just have to work through them.